A few years ago, or maybe about a decade, Woman was pregnant with her first child and I was pregnant with my third.
It was fun being pregnant at the same time and due around the same time.
Misery loves company.
Oh! I mean …
It was nice to have someone who could relate, not just from experience, but from being in the experience at the same time.
That sounds better, doesn’t it?
One day, we were discussing (once again!) this Placenta Head phenomenon.
Ladies, if you’ve ever been pregnant, you probably know what I’m talking about.
It’s that thing that happens to your brain.
Where you find yourself thinking … Odd. I used to be a very intelligent woman. I know I was. I remember that clearly. I even remember using my brain. A lot. But, lately, it’s as if connections are not being made. Or maybe those brain connections aren’t there any more. There are times when I can’t even be sure my brain is still in there.
It’s all very weird.
So, Woman calls me to tell me that she read somewhere that a woman loses 50% of her brain cells with each pregnancy.
And, furthermore, there was no mention of brain cell recover after this Placenta Head condition is over with.
Now, I do not remember at all where she read this.
And I am in no way, shape, or form educated in the medical field.
So, please, do not take this as scientifically proven fact.
It was just a fun, friendly, casual conversation between pregnant friends.
Being pregnant with her first child, that about summed it up.
But, since I was pregnant with my third, this gave her the opportunity to delve deeper into this statistic.
She then lays out for me that if I lost 50% with my first child, the second child took 50% of the remaining … leaving me with 25% of my original pre-Mommyhood brain cell count.
She’s a good friend that one.
And as such, she wouldn’t dare leave this half-finished …
As she then figures in her head and shares with me that that means that this third child, taking 50% of my current brain cell count would leave me with 12.5% of the original pre-stretchmarks brain cell count.
A quick count from her after I became pregnant with my fourth child leaves me with 6.25% of my original pre-Why.Is.There.Always.A.Short.Person.In.The.Bathroom.With.Me brain cell count.
I’m now on pregnancy number 6.
Since not all of you will have Woman to update you, or Baby Girl (my oldest daughter, who has now joined in the fun of counting the current status of my brain cells), let’s just all do it together now.
Baby number 5 left me with just over 3% of my pre-Spending.Every.Single.Day.Wiping.Someone.Else’s.Butt brain cell count.
(drum roll please)
Baby number 6 would then leave me with barely more than 1.5% of my pre-Blessed.Tremendously.By.The.Lord.To.Be.A.Mommy brain cell count.
So, shortly after Baby Girl and I were discussing this Placenta Head thing, I had a craving for Spaghetti O’s.
I called Texas Guy and he stopped at the store and picked some up for me.
Gourmet, they are not.
But, it had been decades since I had eaten them.
And I was looking forward to all those little O-shaped noodles, swimming in sauce, alongside tiny little meatballs all fresh out of a can that I didn’t have to make.
I grabbed a pot, the can opener …
and a can of …
Spaghetti O’s AtoZ’s
And I wondered if this was Texas Guy’s subtle attempt at helping me combat the effects of Placenta Head.